A short study on post-communist south-east European democratic semi-presidential republics’ male mirc users.

After tiresome observations and experiments I am able to synthesize my findings which you already undoubtedly know about a species very frequent among us today: the male mirc user.

The male mirc user is a mammal of the moron order. It is the most inarticulate member of the Internet family and a survivor of the transition, originating from the late communism around 20 years ago. Its height and weight varies. DNA sequencing and genetic drift studies indicate that the male mirc user shares common ancestry with the ideologically brainwashed and ceaselessly drunk factory worker.

Though once inhabiting only a small range, mostly Internet cafes, due to development and expansion of ISP infrastructure and services it is now abundant in urban environments and gaining ground in rural areas as well.

Male mirc users are the apex predator in the ecosystems they usually occupy. They are not very adaptable and only thrive in clubs, urban and rural discotheques, bars, neighborhood kiosks and Internet cafes. Outside these venues the male mirc user dies.

Physiology

Physical characteristics

Male mirc users can vary greatly in appearance tending to increase in aesthetic retardation proportionally with the realm they roam (i.e. clubs in comparison to manele discotheques).

They posses features ideal and efficient for the gathering of overrated and inessential knowledge about females and reproduction such as eye-catching physiognomy and exotic complexion descended from the aesthetically graceless use of unconscious and unintended leetspeak. Among the most common is the capped nick or partially capped nick, the use of the letters “y” and “k” instead of the grammatically correct choices “i” and “c” or uncalled-for symbols like “}”, “{“ etc. It also employs the excessive use of diminutives in order to get closer to the female and appear harmless and cute; these also play a vital role in its survival for without the use of them it dies. This shows that he chooses to look, or actually is devolved, this apparently aiding his goals. This characteristic seems to be inherited from generations of alcoholic paternal genetical mutations. It doesn’t shy away either from displaying within his nick idols (i.e. Becali, Bmw) or self-praise (i.e. dragut, dotat). In the existence of the male mirc user exterior semblance is paramount and without an attention-getting nick it would die. If asked about the meaning of his colorful nick, because of lack of rational answers it hyperventilates and dies.

Reproduction and life cycle

The male mirc user is a solitary hunter usually praying on more than one dumb female at a time showing thus his polygamous abilities and desires. The mating ritual has 2 stages: mirc and yahoo messenger. The mating ritual starts on mirc as it’s expected given his name, usually with an interrogation made up of acronyms (asl, cf) and abbreviations , which often have the same striking trait of using “y” for “i” and such. Although appearing interested in what the female has to say, it is not in the least bit attentive and he just aims for his target: a yahoo id. Oddly the male mirc user’s purpose as a species is not to breed, but to create a harem of virtual females who most likely will not talk to it again after the initial conversation. But this doesn’t trouble it, engaging ultimately in almost pathetic begging tactics in order to ensure the adding of a new id. The drive and ambition with which it pursuits its goal is unparalleled in the Internet community. The adding of a new id and subsequently chatting with the new female on yahoo messenger is what provides the male with physical and physiological contentment, ejaculating and being reassured of his status as conquering alpha male in the process. If he is denied the id, the male mirc users almost dies.

If anything devolution, since no sign of change is visible, ensures that this species is here to meander the virtual vastness for years to come since the educational and social models to look up to are missing from their reality.